


'Cause These Words Are Knives And Often Leave Scars

by RahRaZorBlade



Series: Truth Be Told I Never Was Yours [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Eating Disorders, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kageyama isn't a dick, M/M, Multi, Protective Daichi, Protective Team, Sugamama, Team as Family, depressed hinata, either is Tsukishima, everyone is worried, protective Suga
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 04:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6737416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RahRaZorBlade/pseuds/RahRaZorBlade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hinata can't stand how everyone has changed around him. He wants things to go back to how they were before he screwed it all up.<br/>Sequel 'Grit Your Teeth, Pull Your Hair, Paint The Walls Black And Scream 'Fuck The World''</p>
            </blockquote>





	'Cause These Words Are Knives And Often Leave Scars

**Author's Note:**

> (Title: This Is Gospel - Panic! At The Disco)

* * *

Tadashi, every now and then would send Hinata small glances.

It made him feel on edge. Like Tadashi could see straight through his mask.

"How're you holding up?" Tadashi gave him a weak smile.

It made Hinata feel guilty for doing this to everyone.

"I'm good. Keeping myself busy with the newest quicks!" He managed a laugh.

Tadashi chuckled slightly.  
"That's the Hinata we like to see." He said before walking away.

That would have been two more to add. 

* * *

 

Kageyama became awkward around him, unsure of how to act.

He stopped yelling, stopped complaint, even stopped picking on him all together.

Hinata didn't want that. He didn't want an awkward atmosphere. He liked how it used to be.

He tried everything to get Kageyama to yell at him again.

But that only resulted in a deep sigh and a "You need to jump sooner and higher." Which was said rather calmly.

Hinata chocked back the lump in his throat.

He really though he had it this time.

That would have been seven more for trying to pick a fight. 

* * *

 

"There you are buddy! Still want help with that paper this afternoon?" Niahinoya walked calmly over to him.

Hinata looked up to the two upperclassmen, Asahi was giving him a sympathetic smile, but there was no wave like there use to be.

Hinata looked down to his uneaten food.

"Uh-no-no thank you. I-I understand it now." He lied.  
"But-I-I've gotta go right now. Forgot to do something." He ran out of the classroom, trying to slow his heart rate down.

That would have been a couple more for lying to his teammates. 

* * *

 

If he didn't know better, he could have sworn Tsukishima could see straight through him.

It was almost terrifying.

The intense looks, like he was trying to read Hinata, but Hinata was a book written in a different language.

Sometimes there was a flicker of worry that passed through those (meant-to-be) emotionless eyes. It didn't suit the tall blond male well.

But he knew Tsukishima better than to think he actually cared.

That would have been six more for reading people incorrectly. 

* * *

 

Suga checked Hinata's wrists and arms everyday, before morning and afternoon practice.

"I'm proud of you Shouyou. Thats three weeks clean." The team mum smiles proudly.

Hinata smiled too, it was forced.

His nailed dig into his palm hard and painfully.

Hinata waited for Suga to walk away before dropping his act.

That would have been twelve more for burdening others who already have too much to worry about. 

* * *

 

He could do it. He should do it. He didn't promise them after all.

He just wanted everything to go back to the way things were.

Could they go back? Ever? Would everyone look at him the same as they did?

"Are you alright?" A voice came from behind him.

He jumped when he heard Suga's voice.

"What's that in your hand?" Daichi asked.

Hinata swallowed the thick ball that was lodged in his throat.

"Nothing, Captain." The orange head boy sighed, trying to make his way out of the door.

Daichi and Suga blocked the exit.

"Show me." Daichi said with a frown.

Hinata's hand shook as he handed over the small razor.

"Oh. Shouyou!" Suga sounded upset and disappointed.  
"Show me where."

Hinata shook his head.  
"I didn't. I thought about it, but couldn't do it." He hung his head in shame.

He wiped the tears from his eyes.

  
"I just want things to go back to how they were. I want Tsukishima and Tadashi to ignore me again. For Kageyama to yell at me and call me an idiot. I want Nishinoya to be enthusiastic and loud around me. For Asahi to give me genuine waves and smiles. And I want you two to stop hovering over me like I'm an injured baby bird! I want things to go back to normal!" He sobbed.

Suga hesitantly stepped forward, wrapping his arms around the young crow and soothed the boy until he fell asleep against his chest. 

* * *

 

Hinata can't tell you exactly want happened, but when he got to school the next morning, Tsukishima and Tadashi walked straight past him.

Kageyama shouted profanities and insults at him.

Asahi smiled and waved.

Nishinoya yelled excitedly in his ears.

And Suga and Daichi gave him a simple nod.

He smiled back to them. A genuine smile. He could do this.

Things were finally going back to normal.


End file.
